Family reminiscence is a conversation that returns to past experiences: a photograph leads to a first home, a song recalls a friend, an object opens a story. You can offer that invitation without requiring the person to remember names, dates or a complete sequence. The visit is also worthwhile for the company.
Choose a topic the person wants to explore
Ask about a pleasant memory or something they enjoy talking about. Photos, recipes and objects can help you get started, as long as they do not become a test. Avoid correcting every detail or firing off questions to get a specific answer.
In Canadian families, offer the language in which the storyteller feels comfortable. A word from childhood may need explaining for younger listeners without interrupting the story.
Prepare a flexible conversation
- Reduce distractions and check that the person can hear well.
- Ask one short question at a time.
- Allow time to answer and accept silence.
- Watch for comfort and offer a break.
- Change the subject if there is refusal or discomfort.
See how to interview an older relative. There is no number of memories the family needs to gather in one visit.
A family conversation is not clinical care
Memory projects should not promise to treat depression, bring back memories or produce clarity. If someone is living with dementia, their participation and ways of communicating may change. Follow individual guidance from the professionals involved in their care, when needed.
The Alzheimer Society of Canada offers communication guidance. It is a reference for talking respectfully, without making the family responsible for delivering therapy.
Agree on any recording before you begin
Explain what you want to keep, who will have access and how the person can review or refuse its use. If they cannot understand that agreement, seek appropriate advice before recording; the wish to produce a book should never outweigh care for the person taking part.
For a conversation that does not depend on recording, choose one of the questions about music and passions and let the visit follow the person’s pace.