Before asking questions about first love, ask whether the topic makes sense for the person. They may not recognize their experience in that phrase, may not remember or may prefer to keep the story private. If they want to talk, let them choose the tone and the details, without expecting a sweet or funny memory.
How it all started
- Who was your first love? How did you meet?
- What was the first thing that caught your attention about that person?
- Do you remember your first date?
The feelings of the time
- What was dating like back then?
- Did you ever get dumped or break someone’s heart?
- Did your parents approve?
What stayed with you
- What did that first love teach you?
- Did you ever meet again, even if only in memory?
These questions are options for a life story, with no obligation to include intimate relationships. If you are talking with your parents, see also our guide on how to interview your father and choose only the topics they agree to.
A chapter that moves people
This chapter only needs to be part of the record if the person wants it. There is no need to reveal names or tell how a relationship ended for the life story to have value. Respect a brief answer, a change of subject or the decision to record nothing.
Ask permission before opening this chapter
A first love may be a joyful, indifferent or painful memory. Ask whether the person wants to talk about it before suggesting more intimate questions. A story lived in a Canadian school or in another country deserves the context they choose to give it, without forcing other people’s names into the open. The storyteller may prefer to keep the scene to themselves or allow a version without identifying details.
If the person agrees to share, focus on a small scene: where you used to meet, how you talked or which detail still makes them smile. Do not ask for full names or try to track down the former partner to complete the story. Record only what the storyteller has allowed and reread the passage before including it in a gift for others.
Further reading: Oral History Association — participants.